For the love of tinternet

Am still crying, at a recent conversation I had with my mother. This is how it panned out.

mum: can't stop, got to go out to Argos
me: oh..what for
mum: you know Mick (me in head 'no'), Terry's friend, just called, they have a laptop there for 350 pounds...have to get one for Terry.
Me: (mildly confused) oh, errr...Terry, having a laptop...why (stupid question but you will get the picture)
mum: I know, don't laugh, Mick talked him into having computer lessons.
me: (roars of laughter!!), Terry, computer lessons, what was week one 'Turning on your computer'
Mum: **laughs** actually, pretty much that. Came home and did his homework.

Now this would be funnier if you met my lovely stepdad. He is well over 6ft and being a northerner I'll describe his hands 'like gret big shuvels'. He also sadly has Parkinson's, which greatly effect his fine motor skills...and though we shouldn't laugh we do!!

2 weeks later

me: so, how's Terry's computer course going
mum: I asked him what he did this week
me: and...
mum: him and mick sent emails to each other
me: whilst sat next to each other
mum: can you imagine it.
me: yeah mick goes 'did ya get that Terry' terry goes 'ahh, the one that sez hello terry'...
mum: don't....
me: I expect a facebook friend request by Friday....

Am still waiting.

Not so PC

So, thats where the school fees go!!

Whilst out on Saturday, we bumped into some of my oldest daughter's teachers on their Christmas party. They had all been for dinner and were oohing and arring over the lovely dinner, sorbet between courses, lovely lovely. I pointed out the year 2's were having a pizza party, and I had to pay HK$25 for the privilage of letting Sporty attend. Glad to know the fees are spent wisely.

Been Busy

I know I know. Not sure where the time has gone. Well, this weekend I did, mainly 'dozing' on the sofa swearing I'd never drink again. Its that manic time of year and everyone goes into the sign language mode, so cleverly picked up on by Peter Kay. No time to stop, just people speaking across a crowded room by hand signals, something like this.

me: smile, nod
she: wave
me wave
she: tap watch, shrugs
me: shrug back, nod in agreement, doing a finger at head sign for 'crazy'
she: phone sign with hand
me: phone sign and nod.
Me: wave
she wave - dashes off

And just to say, no matter how crazy it gets you won't catch me in sweat pants and trainers - EVER, well, not in public anyhow.

iPods

I don't think I should be allowed out with one in public. I see people on the MTR or waiting at the airport, earphones in, sitting still and passively whiling away time. Well, I'm not one for music but as my new car only has a single CD player and an iPod jack I decided I would need to get all iTunes savvy. DH has an iTouch and actually let me 'have a go'. I scrolled though and found a club remix of Toni Braxton's Unbreak My Heart, ramped it up and allowed myself to take it all in. 3 minutes later I realised DH was pissing himself laughing, I was spitting out my own hair, that I had closed my eyes and completely entered my own world. Think opening scenes of Bridget Jones and you get the picture.

HK Drivers

Is it me or is driving in HK really annoying, now which are the worst...

1. Light bus drivers (possible mafia types on a mission)
2. Taxi drivers - most wear race horse blinkers
3. Tai Tais in big cars on a day out on the drivers day off
4. Drivers - boss in BACK of car driving at 3mph with a 'baby on board sticker'
5. Flash 25 year olds borrowing Daddy's Porsche/Ferrari
6. Local women (sat on 5 cushions) and won't indicate cos it might break a nail
7. That welsh woman trying to overtake me (cut me up) on the hill going up to the Caltex garage.

Gingerbread

Mmmmm....2 hours in the kitchen making gingerbread in the name of 'Home Learning.' Above and beyond the torture of recreating "The Gingerbread Man" from plastic people and playdough, this week also 'suggested' they could make some gingerbread....so we did. It also said 'don't forget to bring some to share with your teacher', cheeky git.

Lost in Translation

Sai Kung used to be a clean respectable place...

Anyone for Tiffin?

Its a word that has been amusing me for a while and a common 'double entendre' used most frequently in 'Carry on up the Khyber'. 'off for a bit of tiffin' with crys of Kenneth Williams saying something like 'oooh matron, saucy'. M&S have apparently brought the word back in fashion by adding it to their chocolate muffins. Please start using it, just be careful not to add a 'G'. It's quite fashionable in Hong Kong to buy cakes for the office and leave them in a designated place. I wouldn't want anyone sending out an email to the entire office (including their boss) with the message "Tiffing in the usual place, please help yourselves". Oh, and if you don't know what it means, Google it, i'd tell you but I'd blush.

Home Learning

At first glance and during a parent meeting at Sporty's school, I thought, 'what a great idea'. Out goes Homework in comes Home Learning. Look, no matter how you reword it, it is still making Sporty run for the hills at the sight of the home learning book being waved in the air, enthusiastically by her loving and caring mother (that's me!). It's been fun, but this week it isn't.

And I'll tell you why.

They have to retell a story using methods not used in class. ie, write a newspaper article, or perhaps make masks and costumes...or get this - illustrate it using powerpoint, yes indeed. POWERPOINT. Sporty is coming on 7 and thinks most things can be answered by that mystical god called google, but powerpoint! I was trying to keep upbeat and be positive and ideas were flowing out.

The hardest part was trying to make her decide on a story. I wanted to do 'Pride and Prejudice' but DH was refusing to jump in the bath full of water wearing only a white shirt and riding boots with me camera ready. So we triumphantly finally decided on 'The Gingerbread Man' (which we made out of play dough), found our cast members, 2 'little people' figures, a pig, a cow and Simba the lion to play the fox (Barney was considered 'too babyish'). I'm exhausted, not sure how Spielberg does it. Think we didn't do a bad job all considering.

Note: The P&P link shows the youtube scene of Colin Firth diving in the lake as Mr Darcy.

On the Blog

I was very very tempted to call this blog 'On the Blog', what with me having tendencies to be constantly hormonal and whirling around in a 28 to 31 days a month state of PMT.

A good ole rant

Whoo hoo, my very own blog. Truth is I got sick of standing in the garden pacing, cigarette in one hand, talking out loud to myself and looking, if I'm honest, like a total nutter. So, here I am, a place to rant and let off steam. Feel free to join me...after all, its free and you are less likely to be carted in a white jacket. Unless of course you are Britney who managed to make it look kinda cool...